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he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
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