u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
True college students do jello shots in the library
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
there is glitter all over my balls
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.