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I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
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