i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
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She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
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Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
yeah, it was that bad.