Texts From Last Night

Last Night in Pennsylvania (215)

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  its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.

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  (215): its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass. http://tfl.nu/z2s4
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  It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.

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  (215): It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis. http://tfl.nu/bygw
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  She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.

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  (215): She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier. http://tfl.nu/gy92
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  Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?

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  (215): Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence? http://tfl.nu/hkha
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  He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.

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  (215): He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down. http://tfl.nu/lp4z
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  Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....

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  (215): Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank.... http://tfl.nu/wvlh
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  if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker

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  (215): if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker http://tfl.nu/asrh
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  Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.

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  (215): Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating. http://tfl.nu/ef4v
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  I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.

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  I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.

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  (215): I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons. (267): I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner. http://tfl.nu/vxtv
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  YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"

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  (215): YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP" http://tfl.nu/srh9
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  yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.

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  i'm never eating chinese again.

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  (215): yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night. (215): i'm never eating chinese again. http://tfl.nu/0tg8
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  He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI

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  (215): He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI http://tfl.nu/4msy
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  i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"

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  wow.

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  yeah, it was that bad.

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  (215): i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me" (267): wow. (215): yeah, it was that bad. http://tfl.nu/hwqj
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  OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"

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  (215): OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package" http://tfl.nu/jnsz
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  she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel

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  (215): she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel http://tfl.nu/yxdc
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