This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
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There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
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i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.