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he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
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