Texts From Last Night · Last Night in (215)

Last Night in Pennsylvania (215)

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remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.

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(215): remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone. http://tfl.nu/qrrz

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Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.

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(215): Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes. http://tfl.nu/3g0d

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after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.

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(215): after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values. http://tfl.nu/kv5s

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She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"

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So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.

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Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.

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(215): She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz" (267): So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning. (215): Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again. http://tfl.nu/rcrj

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It was confusing and full of hummus

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(215): It was confusing and full of hummus http://tfl.nu/wxk0

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I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.

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(215): I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex. http://tfl.nu/q0wq

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I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again

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(215): I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again http://tfl.nu/3rrj

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i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter

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(215): i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter http://tfl.nu/d1e8

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No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.

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(215): No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there. http://tfl.nu/8rlf

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This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis

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(215): This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis http://tfl.nu/mvim

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So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .

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(215): So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand . http://tfl.nu/gg9e

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My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."

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(215): My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.." http://tfl.nu/yyzh

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I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera

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(215): I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera http://tfl.nu/ivkx

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Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.

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(215): Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions. http://tfl.nu/2ubl

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Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....

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(215): Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there..... http://tfl.nu/ckkf

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Last Night in Pennsylvania (215)

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