Texts From Last Night

Last Night in Pennsylvania (215)

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  remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.

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  (215): remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone. http://tfl.nu/qrrz
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  Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.

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  (215): Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes. http://tfl.nu/3g0d
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  She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"

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  So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.

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  Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.

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  (215): She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz" (267): So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning. (215): Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again. http://tfl.nu/rcrj
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  It was confusing and full of hummus

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  (215): It was confusing and full of hummus http://tfl.nu/wxk0
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  after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.

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  (215): after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values. http://tfl.nu/kv5s
  Replies (50) Good night (1901) Bad night (2902)
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  I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.

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  (215): I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex. http://tfl.nu/q0wq
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  I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again

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  (215): I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again http://tfl.nu/3rrj
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  i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter

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  (215): i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter http://tfl.nu/d1e8
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  This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis

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  (215): This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis http://tfl.nu/mvim
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  I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera

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  (215): I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera http://tfl.nu/ivkx
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  Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.

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  (215): Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions. http://tfl.nu/2ubl
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  Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....

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  (215): Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there..... http://tfl.nu/ckkf
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  he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning

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  (215): he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning http://tfl.nu/kfu4
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  My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."

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  (215): My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.." http://tfl.nu/yyzh
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  I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone

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  (215): I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone http://tfl.nu/geen
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