The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
These 25 People Believed Fake Facts For Way Too Long
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
23 Adults Confess The Irrational Fears They Had When They Were Kids
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock