You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
These Attractive Criminals Got Modeling Contracts After Getting Arrested
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
This Girl’s Unbelievable Catfish Story Will Make You Rethink Online Dating
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.