I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
31 Times Kim Kardashian Showed Her Love For Balmain
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
19 Tricks To Help You Join The Mile High Club
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?