Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
21 People Confess What It’s Really Like At An Orgy
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
These 15 Honest Illustrations Show What Women Do When No One Is Watching
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information