Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
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I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
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We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.