I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
25 Of The Most Cringeworthy Internet Stalking Fails
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
21 People Who Barely Escaped Death
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know