i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
Randomize
