There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened