as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
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is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew