Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.