Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.