I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
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she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
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Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?