I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
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If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
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and then he started using my ass as a stressball
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?