"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
you had me at cake vodka
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
The Internet Is Obsessed With This Stripper Who Dropped It Low Just To Eat A Slice Of Pizza
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers