hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.