if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
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Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
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We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.