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Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
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