You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
Less talking, more tequila
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again