this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
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So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
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I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.