I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
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I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
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i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.