Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
19 People Confess What It’s Like To Have Sex With Someone That Is Transitioning
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
25 ‘Manly’ Things Guys Do That Are Actually Really Annoying
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?