Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
These People Made Expensive Mistakes That They’ll Regret Forever
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
Things The Opposite Sex Just Doesn’t Understand
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.