just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
10 Things Your Gyno Wants You To Stop Doing To Your Vagina
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
For Some Reason, Boys Are Singing The ‘Halo’ Theme Song In School Bathrooms
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.