The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
15 Things That Could NEVER Happen Anywhere But the South
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
15 Times “Flight of the Conchords” Made You Feel Better About Being a Twenty-Something
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today