Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
nutella sex= disaster
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome