They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
Khloé Kardashian Finally Speaks Out About The Tristan Thompson Cheating Scandal
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
15 Porn Memes You’re Only Allowed To Laugh At If You’re Over 18
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.