I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one