Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
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i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
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What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.