When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
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Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
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And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?