The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
27 Of The Most NSFW Life Hacks
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
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Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.