Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
27 Of The Most NSFW Life Hacks
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
23 Disturbing Small-Town Horror Stories
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son