Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets