Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.