I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.