well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
These 23 People Had Coworkers From Hell
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
21 NSFW Facts About Famous Celebrities That Will Blow Your Mind
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.