Texts From Last Night

Last Night in Alberta, CA (403)

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  (403): View more from Alberta, CA

  let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.

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  (403): let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length. http://tfl.nu/s8ds
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  So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.

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  (403): So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint. http://tfl.nu/8aqq
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  just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.

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  (403): just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong. http://tfl.nu/sr7f
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  If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me

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  (403): If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me http://tfl.nu/3lvx
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  are you so shy because you have an std?

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  (403): are you so shy because you have an std? http://tfl.nu/9nrw
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  My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.

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  (403): My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator. http://tfl.nu/0m79
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  I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.

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  (403): I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness. http://tfl.nu/0zt1
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  Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.

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  (403): Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack. http://tfl.nu/lh8d
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  found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.

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  (403): found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun. http://tfl.nu/lec0
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  The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."

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  (403): The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention." http://tfl.nu/toh6
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  (403): View more from Alberta, CA

  you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.

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  (403): you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion. http://tfl.nu/ldji
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  she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.

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  (403): she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that. http://tfl.nu/e222
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