while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.