Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
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I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
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Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.