I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
29 Petty People Reveal The Shallow Reasons They Turned Someone Down
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time