Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.