i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
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This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
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I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue