no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
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yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
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Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.