I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...