My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
I molested 6 butterflies tonight
Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!