I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.