It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
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I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
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Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon