he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY