Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired