driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.