you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.