are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
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I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
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I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
You coming home soon, man?