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It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
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