Texts From Last Night · Last Night in (902)

Last Night in Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia (902)

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It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!

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(902): It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time! http://tfl.nu/2h7j

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Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.

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(902): Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight. http://tfl.nu/0w7l

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you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'

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well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone

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(902): you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken' (1-902): well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone http://tfl.nu/o9f8

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yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting

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(902): yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting http://tfl.nu/sy3h

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I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...

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(902): I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL... http://tfl.nu/s81g

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Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.

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(902): Her vagina smelled like hockey gear. http://tfl.nu/kiqt

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bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.

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the hells wrong with u

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(902): bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard. (1-902): the hells wrong with u http://tfl.nu/fwtj

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This guy has a retainer. We're golden.

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(902): This guy has a retainer. We're golden. http://tfl.nu/im2l

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Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.

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(902): Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life. http://tfl.nu/sk8g

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i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.

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(902): i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots. http://tfl.nu/58kw

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So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.

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Apparently you chose the latter.

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(902): So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour. (416): Apparently you chose the latter. http://tfl.nu/xdpl

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perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.

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(902): perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night. http://tfl.nu/cheb

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The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.

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(902): The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling. http://tfl.nu/4suj

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she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself

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(902): she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself http://tfl.nu/wlq8

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I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.

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(902): I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out. http://tfl.nu/3h1q

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Last Night in Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia (902)

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