She kept screaming "best case scenario"
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
You coming home soon, man?
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
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She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
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you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.