and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
19 Of The Creepiest (Most Inexplicable) Things People Experienced
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
I just cut my nipple shaving
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..