nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
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The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
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