Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it