Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.