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He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
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