Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
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He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?