i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
25 Of The Most Cringeworthy Internet Stalking Fails
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"