Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
25 People Confess Their Favorite Way To Annoy Their Significant Other
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..