He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
The iPhone is ruining my ability to sex message. My 5-year-old cousin just picked up my phone at my grandmas birthday party and read "I wanna stand you up and fuck you from behind" to my entire extended family bc of popped up on my screen
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?